All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
