im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
