I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
