Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
