do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
