It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
