i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
