i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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