Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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