I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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