Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
