Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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