Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
They have beer where we have blood.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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