i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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