It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
