Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can text with my tongue
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
