I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
