found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
