the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
