I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
