The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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