Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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