Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
