Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
