The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
