Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
