I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
