Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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