"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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