Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
