You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
zippers are such a cool invention
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
