We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
