i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
