I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
