you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We talked him into tasing himself.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
