Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
