i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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