i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
then he tried to convert me to islam
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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