thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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