Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
