What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
