we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
