ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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