I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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