We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
