You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
