He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
