i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
