Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
