you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
