I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
