"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
